This week's entry will be relatively short. I decided not to shoot my bow this week. I wanted the mental break and know that I need it. In all reality, I really should hang it up for the year, but I committed to going to the IBO World and finish it off while I'm there.
The grind has finally caught up to me. I've probably put more into it this year than any year I can remember, other than when I first learned how to shoot a surprise shot. I've definitely overdone it this year and mentally I can't handle much more. For a short time about a month ago, I thought I finally had it. I thought I was back to where I was at in past years. Unfortunately, the good things only lasted about two weeks. I'm not sure what happened, but I feel like I'm back to struggling, and the struggle is very real...........so real that it's really wearing on my nerves. I won't lie and tell you that I'm okay with it and it doesn't bother me. It bothers me, and I'm sick of not performing at a level that I've been used to for many years. Did I set the bar too high in the mid '90s? When I got back into it after reconstructive shoulder surgery, did I surpass all expectations that everyone had, me included, and put too much pressure on myself to keep improving? Yup, I did, which is much of the reason I'm stuck in the rut I'm stuck in.
I've never been accused of being smart, so many people might ask why I would mess with anything this week before shooting on the weekend. I decided to tighten the triggers up on my releases and move them a hair. I figured it would help me to relax my hand while shooting and help me more easily set up on the trigger in my pre-shot routine. So I moved the triggers on Wednesday night and decided I would give it a roll.
Dad and I headed out to Massachusetts for the tournament on Saturday morning. The last time I looked, the weather called for temperatures in the low 80s and relatively low humidity. That's why I chose to wear pants..............a huge mistake. As I made my way through the course, I don't ever remember sweating as profusely as I did on Saturday.
Since I give the weekly diabetic update, I might as well give it to you. As I stood at the 50-yard target butt and shot my practice arrows, I felt great. My blood sugar sat steady around 108 before dropping down to the mid 90s before we headed out to the range. While shooting at 50, I only missed the dot on the Morrell bag one time out of about 16 arrows. I was jacked up and ready to shoot. I felt invincible, as good as I normally feel in my own backyard. My shot was breaking clean, and I was ready to head into the woods.
When my group was called and we headed to the first target, I realized I was the only blue stake shooter in the group. I had three red-stake guys with me. That didn't affect me at all. I'm just mentioning it so people get a feel for the group.
As I walked across the field to the first target, my eyes began to feel really strange. I knew the feeling all too well, but my sensor on my insulin pump had been holding steady in the mid '90s. I checked it to make sure my actual glucometer matched the number on the pump. I wasn't surprised when it read "45." For anyone who isn't familiar with diabetes, you can go into a coma at 30. Having had diabetes for the better part of 45 years, I no longer recognize the symptoms of low blood sugar. Most people would probably have been passed out with a count like that, but I'm different. I seem to be able to withstand the scary low numbers.
I tried shooting, but it affected my hold for the day. I didn't hold steady at all. Although my blood remained low for most of the day, I plodded along and did the best I could. I felt good about my shooting when I got past the first target, which was a long small deer, and then I got a 10 on a long strutting turkey a few targets later. I knew I was going to have a good day. My shots were breaking good, even though the sight picture wasn't the best. As with anything, if you can stay in the 10-ring, you have a chance. I'd take 11s if I shot a few, but I didn't feel like I needed them. I figured I would stay in the 10-ring most of the day.
As I made my way through the course, a few things began to irritate me and the snowball began to pick up speed. Before I knew it, I gave up while pushing the snowball up the hill and let it trample back over top of me. I let a few details get under my skin and plow me over. As my blood boiled inside, I tried to remain positive, but I lost any sense of concentration skills I had, and before I knew it, my mind was the farthest it could possible be from where I was physically at.
This type of thing happens to me every once in a while, and I know better than to let things eat away at me. Unfortunately, it has been a very long and trying year for me on the archery range, and my patience is worn beyond the thin line that resembles the trip wire that ignites certain bombs.
As the sweat poured down my back and dripped down my arms, I found it harder and harder to hold my release. The heat didn't let up -- and neither did the stuff that had begun agitating me earlier in the day. I won't spend much time about it on here, as this is not the place. I just want all of you who are reading this to know that some things are acceptable and some are not. Of course, when you're not shooting well, everything seems to compound and come crashing down all at once. I'd just like to be able to see what I'm aiming at from time to time. It's a lot easier to hit what you can see.
When the day was done, I packed my stuff up and headed home. Dad and I had our normal conversation about the day, and I was glad to see him shoot well. He did have a stretch in the middle where he came mentally unglued when he was in between letting down and shooting and the arrow sailed into the woods. He followed it up with a five and an 8 and never really recovered from it until near the end. I was ecstatic too watch him shoot before he got the zero. It was amazing. I'm not sure I've ever seen him shoot that well in 3D, except maybe the year he was leading after the first day at the ASA in Gainseville, Florida, back in the early 2000s. It was awesome. It felt even better to know that he was shooting well because he had listened to some advice I gave him. I hope he carries his success with him moving into the next couple of weeks.
I know many of you would like more about my day. I didn't shoot well. Of the 30 shots I took, I think I made three perfectly executed shots. It was not a good day. My mental collapse from outside interferences ruined my day, and I allowed it to snowball. I do know better than that, but after a few other incidents throughout the year, it all came to a boiling point, a point I'd really like to avoid reaching in the future. This is why I'm glad the year is just about done. I've simply had enough, enough of a lot of different things. I need to get into the woods, where I can relax and let things come to life in front of me as the sun rises on each new day. I'm ready to listen to bugling bulls and grunting bucks. I'm ready to step away from this game that drives me crazy.
I spent Sunday in a much better place. Barry Gates made the trip to Dad's place after the shoot on Saturday. We decided to shoot some of my 3D targets. I think we shot about 40 to 45 targets, and I gave Barry every look he will see at Snowshoe in a couple of weeks. I think he enjoyed it. Although all of my targets are McKenzies, it still gives good practice with judging, executing and learning to shoot uphill, downhill and across hills. We shot from dark to light, from light to dark, in the woods, in fields, down lanes and in dark holes. We did it all. We finished the morning off by shooting at 50 meters on a 122 cm face.
Recently, Barry decided to see Mark Myers for some coaching. Wow, what a difference a day makes. I'm not sure what Mark fed him last night, but today, Barry was a new guy. His shot looked as smooth as I've ever seen it, and he couldn't miss. It was awesome to watch. I can't wait to see how he and his daughter progress as they see Mark more often. If anyone is looking to improve his or her game, I would highly recommend going to see Mark. Maybe Barry's success won't last in the near term, but he is definitely on the right track. He went from spraying arrows all over the place to keeping them in the 10 and 9 ring at 50 meters regularly. Great job, Barry. You are definitely in good hands, and it was really easy to see your improvements already. I can't wait to watch things develop over the next six months.
I've been waiting a long time to do this shooter profile. Many of you won't know this guy, but I know him. It's Chuck (Charles) Weeden.
Chuck is a family guy. He's with his two favorite people (his daughters) other than his wife in this picture. He does everything for his family, but his second passion other than his family is archery. Why don't most of you know Chuck? You don't know Chuck because he spent most of this year on the sideline riding the stationary bike, just like you see the professional football players doing during games when they're not playing due to injury. Chuck decided to step back this year after qualifying for the New England Championship and not go to anymore tournaments, except the last one.
Chuck is the ultimate Joe, he's one of us. Chuck reminds me of myself. I've never seen someone's path who reminds me more of myself than him. He loves archery like it's the last thing in the world. He grinds and grinds and grinds. He beats himself up to do better an doesn't settle for less.
Sometimes, we don't like being honest with our closest friends. Last year, I had to take Chuck aside and be straight with him. George Connors, our good friend (we are the three Jorges), is somewhat of a natural. Although he works hard at it, he makes it look easy. Chuck and I are slow learners. It takes us a lot to get it. Anyhow, when I took Chuck aside, I told him to get rid of every release he had and put a hinge in his pocket. He chose a Stan and began learning how to shoot it. When I began shooting a Stan, it took my 9 months to really "get it." It's been about the same for Chuck.
Grinding and grinding, Chuck finally figured it out. He is the Joe of all Joes in my book. Yup, he came in almost last place in one of the biggest classes out there a few different times. I know he was disappointed, but he didn't give up. He's too damn stubborn, just like the Joe writing this right now. He kept plugging.
That puts us to today. Chuck landed a 3rd place finish at the New England Championship, narrowly missing the win. Anytime anyone can come within a point of winning the biggest tournament in his region, he can pat himself on the back and say, "Job well done," especially if they guy he almost beat is named Mark Myers, the guy to beat at all of these shoots.
For all of you Joes out there who are reading this, next time you see Chuck (you have a picture of him right here) make sure you say hi to him and tell him you can relate to his journey. He is you. He is all of us. Sometimes, we never think we're going to get to the top of the mountain. We bust our asses and see nothing for our work. We wonder if we really have the ability when our friends try convincing us that we do. We beat ourselves up and question our confidence. We get pissed when people beat us who shouldn't be beating us. We keep fighting and get more pissed when we look at the results because we know we work harder than almost all of the guys who are kicking our ass. Inside, though, we keep working because we love archery. Even if we never win, we will give it our best shot, because maybe, just maybe we will have that one day when everything comes together. Today the Chuck that I have always known came out and stood proud. He stood on the podium for everyone out there to see. He walked away and said to himself, "This is who I am. I'm not that 270 chuck, even if I shoot a 270. I'm one of the best shooters in my region, and I proved it today. I have nothing left to prove to anyone from now on. I will go shoot my arrows and have absolutely no expectations."
That's about all I have for this weekend. I have to admit that I feel a little bit of pride right now. I'm definitely not a Mark Myers. I don't have his credentials, but I have helped a lot of people shoot over the years. I've offered a lot of advice to people, and I've traveled all over with a lot of people. Many of these people are my closest friends. Over the last two weeks, when I look at some of their finishes in the NY and NE Championships, it makes me proud to know that I was part of their success. I'd like to give a shout out to the guys I've offered a lot of help to and people I've talked a lot about archery with over the years. In some small way, I hope I was a little bit of the reason why you were able to achieve your success over the last few weeks. Jeff Wagoner, Doug Vaughn, Todd Sargent, Gary Jones, Chuck Weeden, George Connors, Aron Stevenson, Charlie Mead, and Wade Chandler among a few others.
Here's my card for the NE Championship. It's definitely not a good one. Moral of the story: Don't let stuff agitate you to the point where you lose all focus. Focus on the job that needs to be done, make good shots, even if you can't see what you're shooting at, and approach every target like it's a tournament and win that tournament. If you can win that one tournament, you can win any tournament out there. Small victories lead to podium finishes.
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