Well, here we are in the beginning of 2025. The 2024 competitive archery season left me beside myself without a clue what was going on behind the bow. Although I thought I was making good decisions and getting through rounds making mostly good shots, the scores never seemed to match my shooting. I was drastically misjudging targets, and when I thought I made a good shot, I'd hit the target nowhere near the kill zone. Of course, I did make a few bad shots along the way, but those arrows landed where they should have landed. However, it's the ones throughout the year that I couldn't make sense of that were making me question my ability. When Jacob and I finished the season at the team shoot in late August, I learned that I still had the necessary skills to shoot good scores, as that day was almost flawless and we finished more than 80-up in 30 targets.
As late October approached, I got ready for my annual diabetic eye exam, but I considered canceling it due to my insurance not covering it. Since diabetes is the leading cause of blindness, I knew I had to bite the bullet, pay the full price and have it done, knowing nothing had changed from the previous year.
Sitting in the chair listening to the doctor talk, it seemed surreal when he told me the things he had found behind the surface of my eyes. Instantly, my poor scores from the year began making more sense. A lot of things go through people's minds when they're being told news they don't want to hear, and I'm not an exception to that. His voice echoed off the inside of my skull and hollowly faded into the nothingness in my brain.
When I asked him if I would be able to compete at the same level I was accustomed to competing, he looked at me and said, "I'm not saying it's impossible, but it will be incredibly difficult to do that due to the things that have happened to your eyes. You have more than one thing to battle, and that will create a variety of problems when it comes to shooting sports." He went to tell me that I would have more issues in different lighting conditions as compared to steady, constant conditions.
So without going into any depth about the issues, I've lost half my vision in one eye. I've also lost all depth perception in one eye, and I have cataracts forming in both eyes, but they're not big enough to operate on yet. On top of that, I have retinal bleeding in one eye, and a pterygium in my other eye.
After finding all of that out, it brought a sense of relief. I still have a hard time swallowing what happened last summer, and I will never quit trying no matter what has been said to me. I was once told I would never shoot a bow again after shoulder surgery, and I overcame that, so I'll give everything I have to try to regain some of my former skills behind the bow.
Beginning of 2025 Season
I shot in a warm-up tournament a week before Christmas using a bow I set up two nights before it and without any practice. Although I didn't think I'd make it to the end, I was able to shoot all 60 arrows. It wasn't a stellar round, as I shot seven or eight nines. Unfortunately, it was the same type of round I've become accustomed to the last few years after falling from a much better place.
A few weeks later, I took part in the annual New Year's Day shoot at Hudson Falls Fish and Game. This is always a challenge for me and Chuck Weeden. It's difficult to try to run a shoot and also compete. However, we both do our best to get through the day. I decided to shoot on the early line to be available to help after the second line finished.
At the end of my round, I was pleased to see that I had shot a 448 out of 450, and it seemed relatively effortless. I barely missed two 10s in the same place, low left at 7 o'clock. I did this with a bow that I had only shot for a total of three days, and the draw length was too long and it was set up at 85% let-off. I considered that a success. The elimination round was a train wreck, but it was due to organizing brackets, screwing up placement of people and tapping out to give someone else a spot I had missed along the way. Then, we reorganized everything, and I decided to shoot after already hanging all my stuff up for the day. I can dismiss the results because when I tapped out, I should've just stayed there. I totally lost the tiny bit of focus I had going into it.
This Past Weekend
Although I'm not going to shoot at Lancaster, I decided to attend the Past Presidents Tournament at Ti Yogi Bowmen in Hyde Park, NY. I believe the first time I ever shot there was probably almost 30 years ago. I've gone there a few times over the years, and I've always enjoyed shooting in the club. It gives me a bit of a nostalgic feeling when I return there every few years. I've shot a few good rounds there, and I've shot a few clunkers too.
I went down there to experiment with a few things and see what I could learn. Recently, I put a huge dot on my lens, and it covers the entire yellow. Well, I probably shot one of my better rounds as far as execution goes, but the score was far worse than the execution. I believe I was probably hitting behind the dot, but the dot was so big I couldn't tell where it was located during my aim. All of the arrows basically hit in the same place... 6 o'clock in the 10-ring. Nearing the end of the round, I got ticked off because I wasn't making bad enough shots to have them hit where they were landing, so I told myself to pay attention to the dot. In the last three ends, I shot 8 out of 9 Xs and ended my day with that. Here's a look at the target. This is why I never pay attention to scores. Someone could shoot a horrible score at Lancaster, yet keep everything in the 10-ring. Did they shoot horribly? Or on a day like yesterday, I shot a crappy score but I feel the pattern and the shooting were good enough to score really well. It's a frustrating game, but I do it because I love shooting my bow. With all of that said, I shot a 443 with a low 20 X count. In the 51 arrows I shot at this target, I shot nine 9s. See if you can find them. Can I really be mad at myself about it?
Where to Now?
I'm not sure where I'm headed as far as archery goes. Currently, I'm 100% focused on finding a job. I'm looking for something in the communications field since that is where most of my professional skills lie. I'd love to find something in the outdoors or archery industry, but I'm more than content to try my hand at anything. If anyone has any ideas or knows anyone in need of a person with great communications skills and background, please feel free to reach out. I'm also willing to change career paths if possible. I'd appreciate any leads I might receive.
Over the last year, I've listened to a lot of people who support me. Our friends always try to pick us up when we are down, and sometimes they say just the right things. Other times, they give great advice, but it's hard to explain things from your own perspective. All I can tell everyone who has given me a pep talk or two... or 10 in the last year, is that I appreciate all of you, and I'm thankful for your concern, guidance and support. However, if the time has finally come where I must walk away from competing at the highest level and going to a lot of national events -- and even the regional ones -- I'm 100% satisfied with my archery career. I always showed up and gave it my best effort, even when I had nothing to give. No matter how bad it got, I never stopped fighting until I shot the last arrow of the tournament. It never mattered whether I was first or last, I always tried treating people in the same manner when I saw them. I tried being humble after some great accomplishments, and I tried being polite and positive after crushing, demoralizing, and embarrassing performances. I'm not sure if I succeeded in any of that, but I tried my best. I was taught those lessons at 6 years old by my father, and I hope I displayed what I gained from them from that time until the present. As I've gotten older, I've taken a step back and realized I should've slowed down a little and enjoyed the big moments a little more when they were all happening. When the successful moments become more fleeting, it can bring a mixture of emotions to the forefront.
As of right now, I'm going to try to go to Foley for the first ASA, and that will probably be the only national event I will be able to attend this year. I'm saying this because I'm planning on landing a new job in the coming days, weeks or months, and I wouldn't imagine too many employers would allow me to travel around the country to shoot my bow.
If I get to go to a big one or two, I'll give it my best, even with all of the health issues that make it much more difficult to shoot a bow than it should be. Good luck to all of my friends who are going to Lancaster. I hope everyone has a productive winter tournament season and brings it with them to the 3D ranges this spring and summer.